People say a lot happens at airports. The chance meeting of a celebrity, the casual bump into an old school mate, or the once-in-a-lifetime bump from economy to first class just because the Pilot's remembered to do his good deed for the day.
Topmost on that list though is the “journey of love”; A term that my best friend coined for a romantic boy-meets-girl scenario that most girls deny but secretly long for. Whenever any one of us travelled be it by boat or horseback, we would want to know if they’d met someone nice on the trip.
So today I walked into the departure lounge of Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport en-route my hometown and gazed in mouth-open awe as families, colleagues and couples and alike put aside all decorum and clawed at each other in a bid to check-in and travel.
I pitied the two check-in assistants with their now fading smiles as they attended to the angry mob while trying desperately to remember all they had been taught on Customer Service.
So, armed with my konkest warri accent I went past the que and made a bee line for the counter.My audacious move was short-lived as I arrived started to make a case on how my flight was leaving in 15minutes and story story.The babes nor even look my side.I noticed the two girls I had shunted past, laughing hysterically at my failed attempt at beating the que.
I stood there fuming with whatever dignity I had left.Wondering what my next move would be then I heard it; A nice earth-rumbling baritone behind me, ’Excuse me please…’
My next line of action might not earn me your respect but trust me when I say I did it for self-preservation’.
I turned around with very calculated poise and there he was in all his glory. A 6ft tall, dark, handsome glass of dark chocolate Man. CHINEKE!!! I sharply switched to English…”Hi, my name is….”(who asked me).
He smiled and muttered something I didn’t hear, as he moved into my spot and started talking to the foolish mgbeke assistant who was now smiling like a drunken cat.
I noticed he pointed at me and in less than 5minutes I had my boarding pass.I didn’t fail to wave it at ‘Brandy and Monica’ as I walked past, skin-close to my rescuer like we were long-lost lovers.
We walked silently to the security gate and thankfully found seats next to each other in the V.I.P lounge as we awaited our flight announcement. There was a good one-hour wait and that was more than enough time to bond, I thought.
That was when he spoke…”So why are you shouting dat time, fine geh? We are hall yeh waiting since before you come”.Before I could recover, he struck again, ‘Anyway my names is Osamuyi but u can call me Osas for CHORT. I’m ashually an intanashonal PALOT with KLerM….’
As the scales of anticipated romance started to fall from my eyes, I noticed the Louis Vuitton belt, shoes, wallet, keyring, cufflinks and ipad case and wondered, 'How did I miss that in the first place'.
And just like a well-written horror movie, the long anticipated flight announcement came over the loudspeaker “Flight 266 to Warri has been delayed indefinitely due to…”
I watched outta the corner of my eye as Brandy and Monica found front-row seats, right accross me to witness my mighty fall from grace.
E don be.