Thursday, 30 August 2012

Journey of Love


People say a lot happens at airports. The chance meeting of a celebrity, the casual bump into an old school mate, or the once-in-a-lifetime bump from economy to first class just because the Pilot's remembered to do his good deed for the day.
Topmost on that list though is the “journey of love”; A term that my best friend coined for a romantic boy-meets-girl scenario that most girls deny but secretly long for. Whenever any one of us travelled be it by boat or horseback, we would want to know if they’d met someone nice on the trip.


So today I walked into the departure lounge of Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport en-route my hometown and gazed in mouth-open awe as families, colleagues and couples and alike put aside all decorum and clawed at each other in a bid to check-in and travel.
I pitied the two check-in assistants with their now fading smiles as they attended to the angry mob while trying desperately to remember all they had been taught on Customer Service.

So, armed with my konkest warri accent I went past the que and made a bee line for the counter.My audacious move was short-lived as I arrived started to make a case on how my flight was leaving in 15minutes and story story.The babes nor even look my side.I noticed the two girls I had shunted past, laughing hysterically at my failed attempt at beating the que.
I stood there fuming with whatever dignity I had left.Wondering what my next move would be then I heard it; A nice earth-rumbling baritone behind me, ’Excuse me please…’

My next line of action might not earn me your respect but trust me when I say I did it for self-preservation’.
I turned around with very calculated poise and there he was in all his glory. A 6ft tall, dark, handsome glass of dark chocolate Man. CHINEKE!!! I sharply switched to English…”Hi, my name is….”(who asked me).
He smiled and muttered something I didn’t hear, as he moved into my spot and started talking to the foolish mgbeke assistant who was now smiling like a drunken cat.
I noticed he pointed at me and in less than 5minutes I had my boarding pass.I didn’t fail to wave it at ‘Brandy and Monica’ as I walked past, skin-close to my rescuer like we were long-lost lovers.

We walked silently to the security gate and thankfully found seats next to each other in the V.I.P lounge as we awaited our flight announcement. There was a good one-hour wait and that was more than enough time to bond, I thought.

That was when he spoke…”So why are you shouting dat time, fine geh? We are hall yeh waiting since before you come”.Before I could recover, he struck again, ‘Anyway my names is Osamuyi but u can call me Osas for CHORT. I’m ashually an  intanashonal PALOT with KLerM….’

As the scales of anticipated romance started to fall from my eyes, I noticed the Louis Vuitton belt, shoes, wallet, keyring, cufflinks and ipad case and wondered, 'How did I miss that in the first place'.

And just like a well-written horror movie, the long anticipated flight announcement came over the loudspeaker “Flight 266 to Warri has been delayed indefinitely due to…”
I watched outta the corner of my eye as Brandy and Monica found front-row seats, right accross me to witness my mighty fall from grace.

E don be.

43 comments:

SnazzyMob said...

Lol, very funny....shou......

silentblare said...

Hahahahahaha....Didn't see that coming. Did this really happen Pam????

Dj Lambo said...

Two words...'Thumbs up'

Kesh said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! "Chinenke" "brandy & monica" e don b bi dat....u on a very long thing....lol

konnie Afatas said...

lol what an experience,

ebunlola omoraiyewa said...

I love...suweet. Ebun

EVENT FINESSE said...

Oh my dayssss, this piece made my day. Its so hilarious

e4ma danj said...

RoTFLMAO! U got me in stitches. Great job babe. Looking 4ward to ur next piece. Hahahaahhahahah p.s while I read d "palots" conversation I cld hear ur voice mimicking

Anonymous said...

Hahaha e b Ʊ well, lol

anie said...

ROTLMAO... Very well written

callistus okafor said...

lollllll

Obebeduo Tega Fabian said...

u got me there...tot it was gonna be one Cinderella story..lol

David said...

Beauriful! Konkest warri accent Lmaoooo.

karina tackleberry said...

Lmfao

The Law said...

looool

Anonymous said...

lmao...nomsky this is hilarious...ahn ahn, so scale remove cos bobo no fit speak English...lol...na wa o... love it hun. nice one.

Warri Boi said...

Absolutely loved the twist

Dennis Okpokpor said...

lol make i no yab....better luck next time aiit don't worry you have good people already in your life

Anonymous said...

Lol....didn't see that coming too....beautiful piece.....keep it up.

iSunny said...

lol! i hope the experience didnt stop here..... make Brandy and Monica mind their business o!.........lol.

Ken Uzim said...

i fell in love at d airport once. her name was Brittany and she was the cutest girl i ever saw. flight were delayed all round and there were not enough seats to go round so she sat on my laps throughout the ordeal. alas, her flight was called before mine and she gave me a hug and left with the mom - and all i had were d memories & d wistful whiff of her hair cream. i particularly remember when a lizard wandered into the lounge and Brittany excitedly whooped, "GECKO!!!!" Brittany was 3 years old.

TopeA said...

Lwkmd!!! Yeah I love thiS.

TashToush said...

Love it my little Nom-o-Nom!

Tinee said...

U write so good! I love the thought process. Very hilarious!!! More power to you boo.

Anonymous said...

Fine geh, na me Osas, y u com fall ma hand for hia naa,aftua all, I organise ticket go waffi for u,walahi if I see u for inside Klerm! Ur own don be

Dale said...

At least he did not require mint, a girl I met in similar circumstances did

Felix Iyoha Jr said...

This is officially funny but my question is how you managed to miss the accent and all his Paraphernalia the first time on the check in line..... nicest blog yet

yabsy said...

lol

Beebz said...

Lol!! Onome, nice one!!

Anonymous said...

So u nor collet Osas details? If u nor want, give me jor. I dey need dat free ticket as aero don stop warri-lagos route. Arik too cost!

Kemi Gbadamosi said...

I can relate with this Onome, as I once saw this 6ft Tyra banks looking babe at a park in Abuja and being a chic didn't stop me from saying God made this one gorgeous. The moment she opened her mouth and said "Kan yhu elep me luk ma bag, I wan to go toilet" I just went blank.....lol.

Beautiful blog girlfriend, Keep it up....xoxo

Anonymous said...

Nice one Pam, u are d bomb, cnt stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious

Anonymous said...

You Won't kill someone oooh Pam. So what happened after that? You did not end the story well. So should we expect wedding bells? Good write up though. Well done

Anonymous said...

All that glitters is not good. Appearance (correct baffing) opens door

Anonymous said...

Lol! Nice one onome... luv it!

B. T. Crown said...

Awesome read, albeit short lived... Just when I had sunk my teeth into the juicy meal.

peace said...

Nice nice

bArOquE said...

&she fell from grace & was stuck there with her messiah

Ok, this was a great write-up...&i don't care if its not fiction...you should have 'received' a phone call & waltzed away

bArOquE said...

&she fell from grace & was stuck there with her messiah

Ok, this was a great write-up...&i don't care if its not fiction...you should have 'received' a phone call & waltzed away

Anonymous said...

So sweet. Dats a once in a life time meeting. U might neva meet her again but the memory will linger.


Kube

Anonymous said...

On d brighter side, the coming made brandy nd Monica swallow their laughter nd u no stay queue. He had his advantage though. Shit happens. I hail u babes. U r too gallant.


Kube

D£B$ said...

LMAO!!! This is sooo funny! Hehehehe! Gr8 job dear! Lol!